Wednesday, January 13, 2016

i am not just me

i am

the artist, asking the same question, over and over, seeking a new answer, arranging the result in a new way, collaborating with the world. i am shifting, posing, arranging, destroying, feeling.

the patient, with blue and green and yellow bracelets dangling from my thin wrist. i am 75 pounds and the definition of a medication cocktail with legs. i am sick.

the student, inside the building and out, a student of the world whether i like it or not. i am the unquenchable thirst for knowledge.

the only daughter, waking up at noon, curled up on the couch reading a book, begging for road trips and museum visits.

i am

the repetitive dreams of bloody crooked, falling out, crumbling teeth and animal heads mounted to walls. i am the static wave length connected from another origin.

the skeleton key, musings of Rumi, and the barefoot games of color tag in the July lawn.

the burning candle wicks and the smell of soup bones. 

the streets of Bleecker, Bowery, Lafayette, and Houston. i am standing on the corner of my heroes, watching the moon rise over SoHo to the beat of "Walk on the Wild Side."

the Mary Oliver poem, The Summer Day. i am Ingram Marshall's Three Penitential Visions/Hidden Voices.


i am

challenging, hard headed, soft spoken and introspective. i live 90% in my head and the other 10% within other's. 

the crooked heart shaped sunglasses perched on the bridge of my nose.

the taste of colors, letters, and sounds. i am the cross-wired senses.

the flashbacks, the nightmares, the buckets of tears and i am the bitten skin beside my fingernails.

i am the comedian, chameleon, Corinthian, and caricature. i am Major Tom and Andy Warhol, Jean Michel-Basquiat, and a Blackstar.

i am the grey Chuck Taylor's and the worn black jeans.

most of all, i am a process, i am a work in progress.

2 comments:

  1. This is really beautiful, Hannah. I am a fan of Mary Oliver and I can see why that particular poem would speak to you. You really are an artist in so many senses of the word, and I have so enjoyed getting to know you these last couple of years. I love what you said about begging for road trips and these lines: "the skeleton key, musings of Rumi, and the barefoot games of color tag in the July lawn./the burning candle wicks and the smell of soup bones. /the streets of Bleecker, Bowery, Lafayette, and Houston. i am standing on the corner of my heroes, watching the moon rise over SoHo to the beat of "Walk on the Wild Side." I have also had the teeth dream and consider myself introspective and soft-spoken. I'm sure the line "I am Major Tom" is packed with meaning and memory this week, too. Thanks for sharing.

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  2. Hannah, your triumphs are beautiful to me. You are a wonderful and intriguing person. I think your battles are some of the coolest things to consider when looking at who you are. I am glad we are friends and I think you are amazing. I guess what I'm trying to say is; you're pretty dad-ass. Get it? Like your title?

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